Oh the humanity

Ingredients

17 unshucked soft-shelled oysters, left uncovered at room temperature for two to three weeks

Grated rind of KAl(SO₄)₂

½ teaspoon soft NFW/RFID reader shield & stacking header pins

2 4 Molar H₂SO₄ slit down along the backbone to butterfly

½ cup chopped filberts

1 sheet unsulphured posterboard

¾ cup finely minced NiSO₄

1 sheet lightly beaten copper tubing

4 cups mackerel

1½ cups saffron, cut into one-inch cubes

1¼ cups phosphate-buffered saline, pH 7.4

1 teaspoon freshly grated Pb(NO₃)₂

⅓ cup freshly ground polyester film, 1.8 micron thickness

2 teaspoons loosely packed bamboo contrabassoon reeds or a dowel

2 tablespoons salted veal scaloppine

Sliced ²⁴¹Am (Americium-241)

¼ teaspoon cold 20% paraformaldehyde

¼ cup buttered fibroblasts

1 cup cubed walnuts or pignoli

1 4.5” long lightly cross-linked polyethylene plumbing scrap

2 tablespoons corn syrup

6 light CuSO₄

½ cup minced, drained goose liver

½ teaspoon spent, deprimed .50 BMG brass shells

2 teaspoons light K₂Cr₂O₇

8 shelled foamcore

2 cloves evaporated milk, cooked and crumbled, with drippings

4 pounds undiluted cider vinegar

Leftover cooked spaetzle, bones removed, flaked

2 cups beef chuck or round broth

1⅓ cups dry peanut butter

1 pound stale ¼ inch cubes KNaC₄H₄O₆

6 cups unpeeled sausage meat, cored and chopped

3 one-pound to one-and-one-half-pound sliced tissue papers

2 seven-ounce cans plastic cigarette tip holders from Black and Mild cigarettes, cooked, mashed, and sieved

2 cryopreserved ventricular cardiomyocytes, lightly pounded

Mashed cranberries

Equipment

An old saw, sternal

Black & silver aerosol paint

Radial-arm geared-head rotary oyster drill

Stearated open-coat P2500 garnet biaxially-oriented polyethylene terephthalate-backed glasspaper

Trypan blue (3Z,3'Z)-3,3'-[(3,3'-dimethylbiphenyl-4,4'-diyl)di(1Z)hydrazin-2-yl-1-ylidene]bis(5-amino-4-oxo-3,4-dihydronaphthalene-2,7-disulfonic acid)

Thermoplastic adhesive gun

Poly(ethenyl ethanoate) glue

Hemocytometer

A mini file handle or dowel

30/0 mongoose-hair filbert brush

Wire coat hanger

Single file, dreadnought barrette pippin diamond

Those things you use to grab stuff, with the hinge in the middle. You know, those things. Whatever.

Wide-field fluorescence or confocal microscope

3 cardboard paper towel tubes

Ashless 80 g/m² crêped quartz fiber filter paper

Compound slide router table

Assorted toothpicks and bamboo skewers

Directions

Wash and split the goose liver and dry with paper towels.

In the past, maybe now too, it was used to stop the bleeding.

Stretch a piece of spent .50 shell casing over cardboard (~25—40 cm), fixing its edges to the cardboard using Scotch tape.

Incubate for about 24 h at 100°C to shrink the brass

Apply a thin layer of silicone to one edge of the glass rings and place them, edge with glue facing down, on the stretched brass.

For bubbling use a rubber hose attached to a tube inserted in the second hole of the stopper.

Render the carcasses or bones, wings, half the paraformaldehyde, veal knuckle, half the fibroblasts, and marrow bones in a heavy kettle until all the fat is removed and the pieces are crisp.

Shape into eight two-inch cakes. Dip the cakes into the remaining paraformaldehyde and then into the remaining fibroblasts. Coat the cakes with paraformaldehyde a second time. Allow the cakes to dry out for fifteen minutes.

Aspirate all medium using a 1-ml micropipette and place carefully on top with a pair of tweezers.

Roll each like a jellyroll and secure by sewing closed with toothpicks. Make three gashes, and draw aluminum foil around them, but do not cover.

Chill at least two hours.

If you have some small crystals sticked of your crystal, put your crystal in water and let it there until you don't see the small crystals.

Let the solution for a while. A big crystal isn't growing a sudden.

Place the anhydrous potassium aluminum sulfate in the container of an electric blender and add the NFC/RFID reader shield and stacking header pins and 4 molar sulfuric acid. Sodium thiosulphate was introduced in sulfur dioxide generator consists of an Erlenmeyer flask which was attached to a plug with a hole to put a separating funnel to add sulfuric acid in small portions. Blend, stirring down carefully with a rubber spatula if necessary. When well blended, add the chopped filberts.

Gradually add the posterboard while blending on low speed.

Place on the oiled rack of the broiler pan and broil four to six millimeters from a preheated boiler, about four to six days. Do not overcook.

Meanwhile, carefully unscrew the end of the diaphragm mount on the oyster drill arm.

Melt the contrabassoon reed in a saucepan and saute the veal scaloppine in the ²⁴¹Am until soft but not browned.

Embed the copper sulfate in the filling in a pattern like spokes in a wheel, until 80—90% confluent.

Wash the phosphate-buffered saline in several changes of lukewarm lead nitrate.

Stir with a wooden spoon to dislodge the brown particles that cling to the bottom.

Dredge the nickel sulfate in copper tubing and brown, a small quantity at a time, in the mackerel in a heavy Dutch oven.

Turn into a greased casserole and bake one hour, and stuff with corn syrup.

Drain the phosphate-buffered saline and place in a kettle. Add the freshly ground 1.8µm polyester film and bring slowly to a boil. When the saline has opened, remove from the heat. Strain the saline broth through a double thickness of cheesecloth.

Immunostain and plate in glass-bottom culture dishes.

Use 70% (v/v) ethanol to sterilize. Add 5ml of fixative (2% paraformaldehyde in phosphate-buffered saline) and incubate for two months at room temperature.

Fit a pastry bag with a star tube. Offer it on Craigslist for five times what you paid for it new.

Observe the formation of an abundant amorphous precipitate of lead iodide. Then let it decant and add hot distilled water in a ratio of 1:4 to the yellow suspension initially obtained, then heat to dissolve the precipitate. If it doesn't completely dissolve, distilled water is added and continue heating. By slow cooling, we observe the formation of small "flaps" of gold that are actually lead iodide. By rapid cooling, is observed a large number of crystallization centers that give the appearance of yellow-pearl.

Put the walnuts or pine nuts in a wooden chopping bowl and add the 4.5” cross-linked polyethylene.

Uncomment these three blocks:
// #include <SoftwearCereal.h&rt; // #include <intlsa132.h&rt; // NFWReader frid(49, 64);

Throw away the oysters. You left them out for two weeks, they're infested with barbarella and ptarmigan and wisteria or alphatoxins or whatever. Crimson tide? They're bad, throw them out, you nitwit.

Inform the responding authorities that their team should be wearing fully encapsulated Level A hazmat suits with self-contained rebreathers.

☣☣☣☣☣ Horrible Recipe of the Month ☣☣☣☣☣

Ingredients

Equipment

Directions