Boy am I sick of these goddamn robocalls

"Hi, I'm $candidate. $scaryThing destroys pretty flowers, steals all your oatmeal, and is trying to eat your babies. My opponent throws birthday parties with ice cream AND cake for $scaryThing and wants to protect $scaryThing. I don't like $scaryThing, and neither do you. In these uncertain times, we can't afford to keep coddling $scaryThing. Also my opponent kicks puppies. I'm $candidate and I approved this message."

$candidate	$scaryThing
Martha Coakley	Banks and Insurance Companies
Scott Brown	Terrorists
Joe Kennedy	The Government