Boy am I sick of these goddamn robocalls

[kirisutogomen]

"Hi, I'm $candidate. $scaryThing destroys pretty flowers, steals all your oatmeal, and is trying to eat your babies. My opponent throws birthday parties with ice cream AND cake for $scaryThing and wants to protect $scaryThing. I don't like $scaryThing, and neither do you. In these uncertain times, we can't afford to keep coddling $scaryThing. Also my opponent kicks puppies. I'm $candidate and I approved this message."

$candidate	$scaryThing
Martha Coakley	Banks and Insurance Companies
Scott Brown	Terrorists
Joe Kennedy	The Government

Comments

[rifmeister.livejournal.com]

Yeah, for awhile I was seriously considering keeping a tally and voting for whoever robocalls the fewest times.

[kirisutogomen.livejournal.com]

Well, then you're voting for me, I guess. Zero so far, and I pledge zero from now all the way up to the election.

[psychohist.livejournal.com]

Hey, what do I need to do to get one from the libertarian candidate (now named Kennedy, though he wasn't at birth)?

[kirisutogomen.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't know for sure, but I did register as a Libertarian once several years ago (before giving up on them as lunatics), so I think I ended up on a list somewhere. I occasionally get mailings from the local wacko.

[fredrickegerman.livejournal.com]

We got a non-party robocall from MassEquality, I'm not sure what to put in $candidate. :-)

[kirisutogomen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I got a call from Curt Schilling yesterday. He didn't say anything bad about non-Advanced Squad Leader wargames, though, and didn't say anything about the MMORPG his company is developing, so I don't know how to put that in the table either.

[firstfrost.livejournal.com]

Oddly, I haven't gotten any phone calls from the candidates for a while. The ones I've answered have been from Barack Obama (who apologized for interrupting my day, which was polite of him) and Bill Clinton.

[kirisutogomen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I got both of them, too. Barack Obama continues to impress me with his ability to, just by sounding reasonable, make all other politicians seem like dirtbags. He also doesn't split infinitives as awkwardly as I do.

[twe.livejournal.com]

When Scott Brown speaks, he sounds like he's reciting something from memory that he doesn't really understand. We were watching 30 Rock last night when one of his commercials came on and now all I hear is Tracy Jordan.